Mental Battles

Doesn't working on your weaknesses stink? It's so hard!! It’s much easier sticking with what you know and what you're good at. It can be quite the mental battle. 

For the past three years I spent the months of Jan-Mar prepping for a marathon. And it paid off in a HUGE way. I got my time down from 3:58:05 (9:04/mile pace) to 3:00:06 (6:53/mile pace), PR'd in each race, won back to back marathons, and my confidence level skyrocketed. But then....my heart became invested in another sport - a sport that doesn't come natural to me or feel easy. In fact, it feels more like an uphill battle. Is this why I feel so drawn to it? Because it's a challenge??

Yep. Pretty much.

And so it began...
...the focus on a different sport - triathlon. After my last race (Ironman 70.3 North Carolina in October) it was obvious that the only way I could be remotely competitive is if I became a decent cyclist. I'm not even talking about a 'great' cyclist. When you're as slow as me on the bike, a little goes a longgggg way. The difference in my bike times compared to the other women is massive (frustrating, embarrassing...you get the point).

Top 10 Women at Ironman 70.3 North Carolina. Peep the bike splits.

Lucky for me, the first half of my problem has been solved - equipment and fitting. The second part - becoming a better runner triathlete, well, I'm working on that. And let me tell you, it has not been easy! I'm going to call it "Project: Turn Sika Pro". It's pretty much a situation where you take an average person, with a full time corporate job, and some athletic background, and figure out how to turn them into a very good triathlete.

New coach, new training plan, new focus
One of the first things my coach and I decided was that I would NOT do a marathon this year. So while I'd usually be putting in 60 miles of running a week around this time of year, I'm only doing about 25. Long runs are 10-12 miles. In fact, I had to beg to do a 16-mile group run a few weeks ago. Of all the things I could beg for I never thought a 16-miler would be one of them smh. I'm also riding 4-6 days a week - this has been the hardest adjustment for me. It's not even so much the training, it's the mental side of things. The mind is so complex.

Most recent race: the Maritime 8K

Getting comfortable, being uncomfortable

I thought about naming this blog post "Coming in 4th Place Sucks" (in reference to the 8K I just did). But as I began writing I realized that it's not the place that upset me, but the speed I've lost. I think everyone wants to PR at every race they do (I think this applies to all areas in life). You want to know that you are getting faster. That all the hard work is paying off. And the best measurement for that is time. When your times aren't as fast as they were a mere 9 months ago it can feel like you're going backwards. But this is when perspective helps ;-)

Let's take my last race as an example, the Maritime 8K, where I came in 4th and only managed a 31:13 (6:16 mile/pace...ughhhh). All three women ahead of me and the one behind me were former Division I long distance collegiate runners that still race competitively and focus on ...you guessed it...the run. Now I'm not trying to make excuses but when 50% of your training is on a bike, and you are running under 30 miles a week it's super hard to just go out there and drop 5:50s. You know what I mean? Of course I couldn't see it this way at the time. In fact, after the race I had my usual phone chat with my Dad. I wondered out loud what I was doing, why I was doing this and maybe I needed a break… a long break. I believe I said something to the effect of “maybe I should be doing something else with my life”.

Dad: Like what?

Me: I don’t know? Get married and have babies.

Dad: You have the rest of your life to be miserable. Chase your dreams first.
Me: no words, just lots of laughing and promises that I would not share this convo with my Mom. Oops! Mom - don’t be made at Dad ;-)

My Parents (Valentine's Day weekend)...it can't be all bad, right :-)

Back to the race..
You know what's interesting? I went through the 5-mile mark of a 10K I did a few weeks ago in nearly the same time I crossed the finish line of the 8K.

Exhibit A (10K splits to the left, 8K results to the right)

I think this shows that I have fitness, just lacking the speed (10K splits: 6:05, 6:11, 6:36 - OMG the headwind, 6:12, 6:04). I felt like if I slowed down a touch I could have kept running and running and running at a steady pace. As my friend Crystal said “You’re too much of an endurance athlete for an 8K. In order to run an 8K at your true potential you’d need to ditch the multiple hour bike rides and get on the track”. Touché! Plus, this is what really matters...

Here is a look at my bike power this year versus last year (courtesy of TrainerRoad). As you can see my power (y-axis) has improved a lot over every time interval (x-axis) this year versus last. I still have a long way to go, but this is positive feedback that I'm at least heading in the right direction. Keeping hope alive!!

Saving the best part for last
Even though it was super strange not racing the 4th Annual One City Marathon (I did it the first 3 years), it was pretty sweet not having to deal with the pre-race anxiety and post marathon body aches! After I finished the 8K I got to sit around in the VIP tent and track my friend Ali (we've known each other since we were kids) who came in from New Jersey to race and try to qualify for the Olympic Marathon Trials. Of course I sat there nervously refreshing the athlete tracker every 5 seconds to see where she was at and if she was on pace. Just a bit of background on her, she was coming in with a 2:45 marathon PR. But a string of unfortunate events (passing of coach Tom Fleming, stress fracture, etc) kept her out of the marathon for awhile. I knew when she went through the half in 1:18 that she was going to win, PR, and qualify for the Olympic Trials. So I made my way up to the finish line, stared and waited. Then this happened...

Now two Montclair, NJ girls have won this race (hers was way better though) ;-)

She's so tough. She went nearly 5 minutes under the Olympic Trials standard. She could have practically jogged the last few miles and still qualified. Instead she pushed so hard that immediately after crossing the finish line (and giving me a hug) she puked all over the place. Then looked up at me and politely asked for some water. It was epic hahaha.

CONGRATS ALI!! So proud of you.

 

Up Next
3 weeks until I kick off my triathlon season. Why I thought a hilly, hot half ironman was a great way to start off the season I will never know. I do, however, think it will be a great prep race for Ironman 70.3 Eagleman in June. It will also be a good race to test my fitness and see where I'm at and what I need to work on.

I'll be reporting back in 3 weeks....