Sunday, March 3, 2019

The Grind

The past few months have truly been a whirlwind. Believe me, when I did my first triathlon back in 2013 I never would have thought in a million years that it would lead me here and that I'd meet so many amazing people! In the past two months I've had the opportunity to....

Film with IRONMAN
Photo courtesy of Princes Photo Studio

Shoot with HOKA

Write for Zoot Sports
https://zootsports.com/pages/women-and-triathlon

Get interviewed by USA Triathlon...
Link to interview
...and WTKR Channel 3 News

Snag a magazine cover (coming this spring)
With my sponsor In & Out Express Care. Trying different poses.

Get a mention in Bicycling Magazine (are you kidding me)
Link to article

And manage to keep my day job ;-)
Me in my cube at work
With all that being said...it's easy to write about the glitz and glamour and post the fun stuff on social media. But the reality is that with all those highs there are an equal amount of lows!! While I publicly state my goals, I secretly question my fitness and if I'm even cut out for this sport. I literally have to talk myself into doing more than half of my workouts because "I want to sleep in" or "I'd rather go to happy hour with my coworkers" or "I just don't feel like doing this sh*t another day". But I'm very stubborn and I consider myself extremely disciplined so.. I just.. do it. But believe me, there's this constant underlying fear that it won't be enough. That all this time and energy that I've been devoting to my goal won't lead to the results I seek.

And then there are other things that I still haven't gotten used to like spending most of my time working on my weakness versus strengths. For me that means very little running, and lots and lots of biking. Which leads to mind games.... like today! Purposely going into a big local road race on extremely tired legs.
Training log from the past two weeks
In the past, there's no way I would have gone into a race like this without some kind of taper. And there's really no way in hell I would have done a 2+ hour bike workout the day before the race. But I trust my coach and I trust the process. Still, it's scary!! Despite knowing the reality of the situation - that I'm running tired, that it's not a goal race, that it's supposed to prep me for Ironman 70.3 Texas, Eagleman, and Augusta, I still can't help feeling disappointed and comparing my times to previous years.

2019 Maritime 8K (at the One City Marathon)
One of my slowest 8Ks ever. Started strong then the fatigue set in and it was all about getting to the finish line.
Crossing the finish line
But you know what? One of the great things about blogging or writing in a journal is that it's like a time capsule. I have proof that I was going through something similar last year - unsure about my fitness, concerned about my run, and feeling like I was biking tons and wondering if it would pay off. Then I went on and dropped massive time on the bike and ran a sub 1:30 half marathon at the end of Ironman 70.3 Atlantic City. It's comforting knowing that I was worried and had doubts, but everything turned out A ok. So I'll continue following my coach's plan and try my best to have faith in the process. I guess that's all I can really do...or quit.. which is not an option!

I'll keep on doing this...
and this...
and this...


CONGRATS to everyone who PR'd, Boston Qualified, or completed their first Half or Full Marathon this weekend! AND congratulations to everyone who rode the struggle bus and didn't hit their goals but still managed to finish. It takes a lot of courage to keep pushing when you're far off goal pace and every part of you wants to stop. It's this awful, vulnerable feeling. However, that one race where everything goes right and you shock yourself... I promise, it's worth it!

Up next: IRONMAN 70.3 Texas. I'll be sure to post an update. Until then, feel free to follow me on Instagram: